Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (Review)

Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987) 

(aka. The Edge of Hell)

Director: John Fasano

You can't call really consider yourself a red-blooded Canadian fan of exploitation and trash cinema until you've put down your hockey stick, set aside that Tim Horton's, and popped in a copy of the ridiculously bizarre Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare starring Canadian god of glam metal: Jon Mikl Thor. Through The Zed Word: Zombie Blog, I am covering this weekend's SHOCK STOCK weekend in London, Ontario where Thor will be a guest and screening his new project: Thor -- The Rock Opera. What a perfect time, I thought, to finally review this 'classic' Canuxploitation film where Thor battles evil with the power of ROCK!

Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare is inept to the point of self-satire but is nevertheless fun as hell. It's like the film version of every nerdy metal fan's adolescent wet dreams inspired by comic books and images of rock warriors airbrushed on the sides of vans -- but shot with a less-than-epic budget. It's an amazing gem of trash and cult cinema, and it's all set in Toronto.

SYNOPSIS

Metal band Triton rents out a farm house in rural Ontario so that they can practice their sets and get their fuck on! Lead singer John Triton (Jon Mikl Thor), a beefy blond metal machine who loves Canada for the arts, has a hell of a time getting his band to focus on their music. Between sneaking off to fuck their boyfriends and girlfriends, the band is being tormented by evil demons in the shape of silly latex puppets and Halloween props. The band is picked off, one-by-one, until only Triton remains. Then, the film takes a spectacularly out-of-nowhere twist that concludes in one of the most mind-boggling and cheer-worthy final battles ever filmed between good and evil.

Rating: 2.5 / 5 Smoking Puppets

IS IT SILLY?

Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare might give new meaning to the word. Obviously, the film is not meant to be truly scary, otherwise it wouldn't be populated by one-eyed puppets that smoke, ill-fitting leotards and metal rock costumes, and unforgivably bad monster masks. Yet, it's precisely this haunted house of cheap tricks and completely random host of demons and goblins that gives Rock 'N' Roll nightmare its indelible charm.

Was it good for you, baby?

Aside from the silly effect, actor Jon Mikl Thor brings the movie to a whole new level of endearing ridiculousness with his portrayal of Triton, an impossibly earnest metal band front-man. Thor is simply so clearly into his role despite the bad script and bad direction that his commitment to this bizarre movie should put a grin on your face. Watch him rock that mic in a red vest and belt out complex lyrics such as, "Energy takes me where I want to be. And you're where I want to be.Girl, you give me (give me) energy!"

The poor direction and production values also contributes to the film's silly factor. After creating the abysmal Zombie Nightmare (my review @ The Zed Word), Jon Mikl Thor re-teams with John Fasano to demonstrate that they still don't quite have a handle on this whole movie-making thing. Case in point: I REALLY hope you like to watch a van driving...for 10 minutes.

Someone needed to give the editor a hand on this picture

IS IT SEXY?

What Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare lacks in quality, story, and genuine scares, it makes up for in shamelessly gratuitous female nudity. Almost every woman gets nude in this movie, there's plenty of bouncing busts, and even the chiseled Thor gets into the buff for an awkward shower sex scene. There's no time to get bored with the movie with this much bare flesh on screen!

The always classic Handbra

Peek a Boob!

Oh yeah. That's steamy.

IS IT SURREAL?

Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare would just be another cheap Canuxploitation film if not for its balls-to-the-wall ending. As the devil appears to claim Triton, Triton reveals that he's been the only one in the house the whole time. All the other band members, even the one he awkwardly tonged in the shower, have been illusions created by Triton, for Triton is no mere mortal. In fact, he is THE INTERCESSOR, a warrior angel.

He-Man: The Rock Opera

The Intercessor looks like Dolph Lundgren from Masters of the Universe crossed with a heavy metal runway model. We learn that the Intercessor's imaginary friends were just a ploy to trick the devil (played by a rigid rod puppet) out into the open so that the Intercessor could lay a WWF beat down on him.

Arrrrgh! Cyclops starfish attacking!

Seriously, as the battle between the Devil and the Intercessor gets underway, it consists of Jon Mikl Thor grimacing like a wrestler and putting wrestling locks on a cheap rod puppet.

Choke the devil!

Does any of this make sense? Not one bit. But it's a surreal and completely left-turn from demon possession horror into superhero pseudo-fantasy. And I love it.

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Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare is not a good movie -- that's why we call it trash cinema -- but it's a crusty Canadian gem that provides a guilty pleasure for fans of horror and glam metal. Jon Mikl Thor is admirable for keeping a straight face as Triton (aka. The Intercessor). He's the heart of the film. Without him and the insane Intercessor twist, Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare would be little more than a dusty old VHS sitting in someone's basement. As it turns out, the film has enough kooky qualities and a cult fan base to support it that Synapse Films put out a very nice DVD full of extra features. More than you ever thought you wanted to know about Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare.

And Thor fans, rejoice further! Jon Mikl Thor has a brand new project coming out that's screening on April 30th at the Shock Stock horror and exploitation weekend in London, Ontario. I'll be in attendance to bring you a review of THOR -- The Rock Opera. Stay tuned!